to David

This image was created at an odd point in time referring to its meaning and purpose of existing. I created this for my first lover David. He is the first person I have ever fallen in love with and pretty much my first ever relationship…
I began with a clear head and a heart full of love writing down a big note down in word and creating the beginning sketches for a future masterpiece …
It will fulfil my heart and soul with its perfect imagery and wonderfully captured emotions and feelings… even though they are practically the same thing.
But while it was created at the same time the relationship began to get rocky.
The relationship still exists…. How fucked up life is to imagine drawing something for someone you feel so much for to only have it end horribly as you began the image… At least it would give something fun to rip up, spit on and burn…

Anyway… I wrote some words below that flowed from my head, ramblings to myself and convocations mixed up to create some delicate words that are not well stuck together *was never good at that*. It’s basically a love related image without looking to sucky. I drew David and I from photos of us…I might upload them into my scraps since I’m very happy with how alike like look. My eyes are green yellow because our skin was shaded blue and blue eyes would have not been effective.
I hope you enjoy.
This took along time…
How lucky he is to get a picture by me *hehe*

A lot of the images where drawn separate and then joined on later with the help of Photoshop…and some of the image may be confusing to why they are there BUT I assure you everything is relevant. Overall I’m not toooo sure about how I have presented it… some things annoy me but they always do.
And yes because people will ask…
I used expensive watercolour pencils for the colour work…
I use watercolour for all my images…
50 bucks will get you a fine amount of good shit

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For the first time someone held my heart
Kept it and cared for it lovingly
I let him do it
I wanted him too
The fright of giving myself to you faded
And I lay like a rag doll while you mended my heart when it cracked and cuddled it tight through the night.
My eyes would watch you take such control while you gave me so many chances
I could stretch the stitches so far they began to split the seams
I didn’t understand why you let me do this
Sometimes I would force you to let my heart go
But you wouldn’t give it up
As your heart seemed to be made of rubber and mine of glass…
You forgot all my faults and my mistakes
Dealing with them and leaving them in the past as if they never had happened,
Did you ever shed a tear?

I would shoot you in the face leaving a messy hole for a head
You still wouldn’t let go of my heart
You wouldn’t smash it on the ground
Laugh as the pieces shattered under the coffee table
You kept it close rubbed the glass till it glow and at the same while everything seemed to mend.
You never cried like I cried
You never got hurt over so little
You never hurt…the way I hurt myself.
You never replaced the love with hate
You never forgot me even for a little while
Every night you would hold me tight keeping my heart warm
And each time I snapped you would reach in and touch me
My heart at amend.

I didn’t understand how far I could stretch you
I deserved revenge
I deserved to be stolen of my soul as I did yours
For all I ever punished you for was loving me
Caring for me like no one before
With no hidden strings
No hidden secrets
Innocence as I never knew existed.

Now I stress, now I worry that you will not love me forever as I have just fallen deeper into you.

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thankyou and goodnight.
love tegan